Welcome back, traveler. Today’s topic is a hard one. A hard one to digest and a hard one for me to even write about. It isn’t always easy to recognize what’s hurting us because it can turn out to be something we swore was always good for us. It could be something like medication, a diet, or, in my case, a relationship.
While there may never be a clear-cut decision completely free of regret, it is important to recognize the things that harm us so that we can be renewed through it. But before we delve into the heart of this, I want to draw upon some parallels that spoke to me.
The Phoenix: Rebirth from the Ashes
So many people know this iconic bird thanks to Fawkes, Dumbledore’s legendary companion in the Harry Potter series, but allow me to give you more insight. The Phoenix is a Greek legend of a massive bird always depicted in flame. It shares similarities from other mythical creatures like the Russian firebird, Hindu garuda, and the Native American thunderbird (although notably less so).
Our immortal bird is said to regenerate cyclically; dying in a spectacle of a large inferno, only to rise again from the ashes of its burned body. Why does this matter to us? Well, I think because the thing that gives it life is what kills it, and by living through its own death, it begins anew.
It came to my attention that the Phoenix can be more than just a tale, but a model of how we should live through our own pain. The Phoenix symbolizes renewal, the sun, time, resurrection, metempsychosis (the transmigration of the soul, i.e., reincarnation or moving on to the afterlife), and some even believe Jesus Christ.
But what if the thing I swore was giving me life, is instead actually killing me? How can I, like the Phoenix, be reborn from this pain, too?
I’m sure there is something in your life you want a fresh start on. Who doesn’t? And how do you know what that fresh start should look like?
In Christianity and other religions, fire can have more than one interpretation, depending on the context. Most times, however, when fire is involved in religion the context is not positive. Our minds go to thoughts of hellish pits and cruel punishments that last an eternity, the scene in Indiana Jones’ where faces are melting, and the screams of tortured souls and the pain that flames produce.
But sometimes fire can be holy and purifying. The bible’s messages to be insightful to the philosophies and views of older times. Fire is used to burn trees that produce bad fruit, so that the corpse of that tree can provide nourishment to the next generation.
Revelations 21:8 reads, “[Fire can] punish the murderers, sorcerers, and liars in the lake that burns with fire in sulfur, which is the second death.” Isiah 48:10 says, “Behold I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.”
See, when we consider those two passages in a certain light, we might come to view fire as pain or affliction. If that’s the case, is it not safe to say that emotional pain can literally cause an inner death? I’m sure you’ve experienced moments like these in your life; when walls are crashing down around you. But when you clear away the rubble, there’s this clarifying zest in the air and how you feel. That, fellow traveler, is the rebirth that we must strive for with everything that pains us.
Pain Is Your Friend
Pain is something we shy away from far too often, especially in our modern environment where dopamine-inducing content is never further from us than our pocket. Of course, it is normal to pull away from things that hurt us, but sometimes it can be more harmful to bury and live with emotional baggage than facing what is hurting us. I know I lived with mine for far too long.
Pain exists for a reason: it’s there to tell you that something is hurting you or putting your chances of survival at risk. Something is threatening you or your ego, persona, self-image, etc...
For thousands of years, being shunned from your tribe meant death because no person could live for long by themselves out in the wilderness, so that feeling has evolved with us to this day. It’s why rejection can hurt so much; our brain interprets it as a literal threat to our livelihood.
Sometimes when we are hurting, it’s our body’s way of telling us that something isn’t right, and our conscious self isn’t always on the same page. It’s at these junctions that taking the time to consider what is hurting you, or why you feel the way that you do about something, is so important.
We cannot fix a problem that we cannot identify, and that is my suggestion for this blog post: to meditate through your pain.
How Pain Can Lead To Renewal
Meditation is about listening to yourself. It’s about taking time out of your day to just be with your own thoughts and emotions. To consider them and let them pass over you without judgement. There is insight to be gained in increasing your awareness and compassion for yourself and others.
This is a lesson I learned: we take heartbreak at face value so often. “My spouse hurt me by doing X.” Well, there are almost always more underlying emotions below the surface, not just in reaction to what your spouse has done, but why you feel the way you do.
It might sound overly simple, but taking the time to listen to your pain, consider it, and find the root cause of it can have huge implications on your life.
If you’ve never meditated before, that’s okay. You can start with just ten minutes a day and focus your mind to concentrate on only your breathing. If you’re feeling good and relaxed, you can take it a step further and practice what I call the Phoenix Method.
