Craft Your Own Sanctuary In A Noisy World

Sometimes a sanctuary is a place of worship or any place where you feel safe, but the most powerful sanctuary is the one you can find inside you. It is always with you and can never be taken away from you.

There is mounting evidence that the digital world that is forming around us is having detrimental effects on our mental wellbeing, most especially younger generations Alpha and Z.

The suicide rate of young females showed the largest significant percentage increase compared with male youth (1), and suicide rates for boys 15 to 19 has increased more than 30 percent!(2)

Another study specifically states that adolescents who spend 3 or more hours on their smartphones a day have shown a 34% higher likelihood of having a suicide-related event. (3)

My heart goes out to these younger generations. This is the only world they've ever known, there is no escape from it, and it feels hopeless. While these feelings are completely valid, they aren't new. They've been around a long time, and in this post for Tippers I'm going to explore two powerful practices-one ancient, the other modern-for building a mental sanctuary that can withstand the noise and chaos of our modern lives.

The tools you need to create your sanctuary are stoicism and digital minimalism. I find this duo of philosophies to be exceptionally powerful at both creating a healthy mindset that builds up your mental defenses against the things flung at you, and simultaneously cutting out the amount of noise that reaches you in the first place.

In this post, I'm going to propose the two biggest practices you can implement that I believe will have the biggest impact on your life. Note that these aren't necessarily the easiest things to do, but if change is what you desire I'm certain you'll find a way or at least walk away with an idea of the direction you want to head.

Stoicism and the Dichotomy of Control

Stoicism is a philosophy from the ancient Greeks, but is most known and seen through the eyes of Romans like the emperor Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus, to name a few.

It's a practical philosophy that encourages focusing on things that are in your control at any moment, like your virtues and your ability to make the best of every situation, and letting go of everything else to better live in alignment with your nature and society. It's a very "go with the flow" type attitude.

The biggest thing to get firmly placed in your memory is the recognition of the things that are in your control and what is not. They call this the Dichotomy of Control. To do this, we must divide everything into categories.

The things within control are our judgments, our intentions, and responses or choices. That's it.

In the mind of the Stoic external events like others' actions, disasters, pretty much anything on the news, and technology itself are things that she is not able to control. These are called indifferents. This does not mean to encourage apathy to these things, but a recognition that these are neither positive or negative things. Even your body falls into this category.

How the Dichotomy of Control aids the building of your inner sanctuary is twofold:

1. Growing a resistance to an emotional reaction by recognizing that everything and everyone on your feed is outside of your control. This helps by preventing us from wasting mental energy with the unchangeable and detaching our inner peace from external outcomes.
2. The primary sanctuary-building aspect of the Dichotomy is the immediate recognition that you control your response or judgment in the face of your device, right now. The power to change your relationship with your phone long-term (via Digital Minimalism) stems from this initial internal control point, and that power is already inside you.

How those points influence your life and methods is largely up to you, and I'll get into the best method of implementing digital minimalism that I know of, but understanding that you already have the ability to become resilient is important. You got this.

If you haven't yet, check out the resources page for my top recommendations on more stoic reading. But for now, let's move on.

Digital Minimalism and Digital Intent

Most of us don't realize how much our environment affects us. It's a fact that the human subconscious is purpose-built to ensure your survival. While I'm busy sipping on this coffee on the Panera patio, my brain is actively looking for movement. I get distracted by people going by because the subconscious is wired to be on alert for threats to my safety (and potential partners...).

Avoid danger, get pleasure. It's a simple instinct, but one that we can rise above. So what happens when we have a pocket rectangle that can give us anything we want at any time? We reach for it constantly without even realizing it. Every dull moment of our day is filled by this little box because it's designed to be addictive.

Realize this: smartphones and apps are made by multibillion dollar companies, with a crap ton of research and testing, to make a device as addictive as possible because your time and brainspace is their moneymaker. Every reel and every pull-down-refresh of a feed hits your brain the same as pulling the lever on a slot machine (4). But luckily, your solution to this is seated in the Dichotomy of Control from earlier.

I find that it is far easier for me to control my environment than it is for me to control my mind. My ape-brain cannot always overcome these million dollar products by willpower alone, and instead of getting frustrated at myself for not focusing on my writing, wouldn't it be better if I just changed my environment? This is where the sanctuary we're building gets physical with Digital Minimalism.

Digital Minimalism is a philosophy of using technology intentionally to support your values and goals and is not simply tech avoidance.

There is a difference between deliberate and value-driven tech use with passive and reactive consumption. I used to enjoy all the latest tech (and still do) but I now recognize that I have the control to set a clear intention with each device.

When you are trying to set your external environment to foster your intention you must recognize that having one device that does it all is not the solution. This means that by and large you must set an intention for each device.

Before I get a new device I define what the purpose of it is as specifically as I can. I assess the attention, time, and mental health cost of my ape-brain's digital habits versus these devices' actual benefits. I must ask myself if the trade-offs are worth it.

These are the three devices I carry with me in my backpack:

By far, the most impactful change in my digital life has been switching to the Light Phone. It's a dumb phone with just enough features to accommodate modern life without the constant noise from feeds, shopping apps, app stores, and web browsers.

I have found that constant connectivity erodes my solitude that I need for deep thinking, problem solving, and creativity. The value of replacing shallow digital distractions with high-quality, purposeful and engaging leisurely activities has been more than worth it.

My Light Phone experience is a personal example of applying these principles by choosing a tool that enforces intentionality and reduces noise, thus helping build my own sanctuary. It has given me the space and quiet that I need to get to know myself better, and I would recommend it to just about everyone. In fact, here is a referral link to the Light Phone store.

However, this is my solution and not the only solution to minimizing your digital life. The key takeaway from here is defining a specific intention for each device or adopting intentionally limited technology that reinforces your Dichotomy of Control.

And, of course, be sure to check the resources page for more on Digital Minimalism.

Bringing It All Together

Considering the bigger picture, let's see how Stoicism and Digital Minimalism work in concert and how these two ideas compound onto one another:

1. Stoicism provides the internal mindset of resilience, focusing on what matters, and what you can control. A mindset that is needed to practice digital minimalism, which requires discipline and resisting external pressures and fear of missing out.
2. Digital minimalism creates the external conditions for cutting out noise and providing more space and time for the reflection that makes it easier to cultivate Stoic virtues like attention and reasoned judgment.

With these methods, our sanctuary is being built from both the inside and the outside. Of course, this is an ongoing and personal journey of your own conscious choices, but it cultivates space for living a more meaningful, focused, authentic, and resilient life amidst modern-day chaos.

Thanks for reading,

~ J.R.

1. Ruch, D., Sheftall, A., & Schlagbaum, P. (2019, May 17). Trends in suicide among youth aged 10 to 19 years in the United States, 1975 to 2016 | adolescent medicine | jama network open | jama network. JAMA Network. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2733430
2. Duncan, J. (2017, August 14). Smartphones, cyberbullying seen as possible causes of rising teen suicide rate. CBS News. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/smartphones-cyberbullying-targeted-as-causes-of-skyrocketing-teen-suicide-rate/
3. Heid, M. (2017, October 10). We need to talk about kids and smartphones. Time. https://time.com/4974863/kids-smartphones-depression/
4. Sanford, R. (2024, February 5). The Social Media Slot Machine. SJC Rotary. https://www.sjcrotary.org/post/the-social-media-slot-machine