Junior's Journal #2: Authentically Me

It can be so hard for me to be unafraid. unafraid of failing, of not knowing the future. It robs me of the present, I know that, but it's such a hard thing to shake. It's something that I've subconciously learned to do over the years.

People pleasing is more than being nice; it's a survival tactic when you grow up not knowing where you belong.

I go back and forth, I foresee every fork in the road and debate which one I should take far in advance and it stops me, dead in my tracks, from ever approaching that crossroads. It's fear. I know it. Uncertainty eats me up.

But there's something seated deep in my soul, heart, subconscious, whatever you want to call it, that knows this is the right path for me. That part of me consoles me that yes, it's uncertain, and it's certainly not going to unfold like you plan it to, but it is the right path.

So the problem isn't really me knowing the future is full of success or the pitfalls I need to avoid, it's just me believing that I'm good enough. That I deserve it.

But I know I'm doing the work. I'm heading in the right direction better than I ever have before. I'm healing. I'm believing. I'm creating. I'm becoming authentically me.