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# I want to feel pain.
- URL: https://jrwarden.com/juniors-journal-4-i-want-to-feel-pain/
- Published: 2025-11-05T18:36:50.000Z
- Updated: 2026-05-29T09:03:56.000Z
- Author: J.R. Warden
- Tags: Posts

I'm back in this place again: second guessing the direction of my life, and also knowing that I'll never be truly satisfied nor will I never not have regret. I understand that it will never get easy no matter what path I take. No matter what life I choose. 

All I know is that I want freedom to live, to create, to heal, and only one path offers me that even if it's just for a while.

> Diving into pain is more than 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' . It's 'I can't heal what I don't know hurts".

I'm saying goodbye to possessions and people and relationships, but I'm making a commitment to myself that I will face the broken parts of me and find a way through them. Both are scary. Neither will stop me.

Things on this blog will be changing up soon. 

\~J.R. Warden