When was the last time you ran from your pain?

Listen to some music while you read: cozy fire ~ lofi hip hop mix

Welcome back, traveler. Today’s topic is a hard one. A hard one to digest and a very hard one for me to even write about. It isn’t always easy to recognize what’s hurting us because it can turn out to be something we swore was always good for us. It could be something like medication, a diet, or, in my case, a relationship.

While there may never be a clear-cut decision completely free of regret, it is important to recognize the things that harm us so that we can be renewed by it. But before we get into the nitty gritty, I want to draw upon some parallels that spoke to me.

The Phoenix: Rebirth from the Ashes

So many people know of this iconic bird thanks to Fawkes, Dumbledore’s legendary companion in the Harry Potter series, but allow me to give you more insight. The Phoenix is a Greek legend of a massive bird always depicted in flame. It shares similarities from other mythical creatures like the Russian firebird, Hindu garuda, and the Native American thunderbird (although notably less so).

Our immortal bird is said to regenerate cyclically; dying in a spectacle of a large inferno, only to rise again from the ashes of its burned body. Why does this matter to us? Well, I think because the thing that gives it life is what kills it, and by living through its own death, it begins anew.

It came to my attention that the Phoenix can be more than just a tale, but a model of how we should live through our own pain. The Phoenix symbolizes renewal, the sun, time, resurrection, metempsychosis (the transmigration of the soul, i.e., reincarnation or moving on to the afterlife), and some even believe Jesus Christ.

I don’t know about you, but I have been having disturbing thoughts about one thing I treasure the most: my relationship with my spouse. What if this thing I swore was giving me life, is instead actually killing me? How can I, like the Phoenix, be reborn from this pain, too?

I’m sure there is something in your life you want a fresh start on. Who doesn’t? And how do you know what that fresh start should look like?

Symbolism of Fire: What it Means

In Christianity and other religions, fire can have more than one interpretation, depending on the context. Most times, however, when fire is involved in religion the context is not positive. Our minds go to thoughts of hellish pits and cruel punishments that last an eternity, the scene in Indiana Jones’ where faces are melting, and the screams of tortured souls and the pain that flames produce.

But sometimes fire can be holy and purifying. Now, I’m not particularly Christian, but I do find the bible’s messages to be insightful to the philosophies and views of older times. Fire is used to burn trees that produce bad fruit, so that the corpse of that tree can provide nourishment to the next generation.

Revelations 21:8 reads, “[Fire can] punish the murderers, sorcerers, and liars in the lake that burns with fire in sulfur, which is the second death.” Isiah 48:10 says, “Behold I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.”

See, when we consider those two passages in a certain light, we might come to view fire as pain or affliction. If that’s the case, is it not safe to say that emotional pain can literally cause an inner death? I’m sure you’ve experienced moments like these in your life; when walls are crashing down around you. But when you clear away the rubble, there’s this clarifying zest in the air and how you feel. That, my friend, is the rebirth that we must strive for with all that pains us.

Pain Is Your Friend

Pain is something we shy away from far too often, especially in our modern environment where dopamine-inducing content is never further from us than our pocket. Of course, it is normal to pull away from things that hurt us, but sometimes it can be more harmful to bury and live with emotional baggage than facing what is hurting us. I know I lived with mine for far too long.

Pain exists for a reason: it’s there to tell you that something is hurting you or putting your chances of survival at risk. Something is threatening you or your ego, persona, self-image, etc...

For thousands of years, being shunned from your tribe meant death because no person could live for long by themselves out in the wilderness, so that feeling has evolved with us to this day. It’s why rejection can hurt so much; our brain interprets it as a literal threat to our livelihood.

Sometimes when we are hurting, it’s our body’s way of telling us that something isn’t right, and our conscious self isn’t always on the same page. It’s at these junctions that taking the time to consider what is hurting you, or why you feel the way that you do about something, is so important.

We cannot fix a problem that we cannot identify, and that is my suggestion for this blog post: to meditate through your pain.

How Pain Can Lead To Renewal

Meditation is about listening to yourself. It’s about taking time out of your day to just be with your own thoughts and emotions. To consider them and let them pass over you without judgement. There is insight to be gained in increasing your awareness and compassion for yourself and others.

This is a lesson I recently learned: so often do we take heartbreak at face value. “My spouse hurt me by doing X.” Well, there are almost always more underlying emotions below the surface, not just in reaction to what your spouse has done, but why you feel the way you do.

It might sound dumb (I know my spouse does), but taking the time to listen to your pain, consider it, and find the root cause of it can have huge implications on your life.

If you’ve never meditated before, that’s okay. You can start with just five minutes a day and focus your mind to concentrate on only your breathing. If you’re feeling good and relaxed, you can take it a step further and practice what’s called The Phoenix Method.

The Phoenix Method

The Phoenix Method of meditation is a powerful way to heal from your pain and uses the symbolism of fire to transform your pain into wisdom, compassion, and strength.

This is my twist on the Phoenix Method, comprising three steps:

1. Acknowledge your pain. Don’t deny or suppress it. Accept it as a part of your life and journey, and see it as a signal that something needs to change or heal. Sit comfortably in a quiet place and close your eyes. Breathe deeply and calmly. Bring your attention to your pain, whether it is physical, emotional, or mental. Observe it without judgment or resistance. Notice where it is located, how it feels, what it looks like, what it sounds like, what it smells like, or what it tastes like. Just be aware of it as it is.

2. Feel your pain. Don’t bottle it up or let it consume you. Find meaning and purpose in your pain, such as lessons, insights, or opportunities, to change yourself or your environment. As you breathe, imagine that you are inhaling a bright flame of fire into your pain. Imagine that the fire is burning away all the negativity, impurities, and toxins from your pain. Imagine that the fire is also igniting a spark of light, warmth, and love in your pain. As you exhale, imagine that you are releasing all the smoke, ash, and dust from your pain. Imagine that you are radiating a glow of healing, peace, and joy from your pain.

3. Heal your pain. Meditate on specific emotions that can help you heal from your pain and rebirth yourself from the ashes. You can choose one or more emotions depending on your situation and needs. For example, you can meditate on forgiveness with the mantra: “I forgive myself for any mistakes I have made. I forgive myself for any harm I have caused myself or others. I forgive myself for the pain I have suffered and inflicted.” You can also meditate on gratitude with the mantra: “I thank myself for all the good things I have done. I thank myself for all the blessings I have received or given. I thank myself for pain I have overcome and transformed.” You can also meditate on courage with the mantra: “I trust myself to face any challenges I encounter. I trust myself to make any changes I need to make. I trust myself to rise from my pain and rebirth myself.”

Repeat these steps as often as you need until you feel healed and reborn from your pain. You can also use other tools such as music, aromatherapy, crystals, or affirmations to enhance your meditation experience.

Conclusion

See, pain is a catalyst for transformation and renewal. We learned from the legend of the phoenix, the symbolism of fire, and the practice of meditation how we can heal from our pain and rebirth ourselves.

I hope this helps you understand the Phoenix Method of meditation, and how delving into your pain is vital. If you want to learn more about this method or other meditation techniques, you can check out these resources:

• Meditation: The Journey Beyond the Mind by Tai Morello

• Kadampa Meditation Center Phoenix

• Self-Realization Fellowship Phoenix Temple

• Phoenix Yoga and Meditation

Good luck! ~ J.R. Warden

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